Where do I go from here
by Kyra73
Summary: Who does she turn to after her break-up?
1. Breaking up is hard

**Chapter 1: Breaking up is hard**

"This isn't going to work for us anymore, is it?"

Slowly tears began to fill her eyes as she realised the truth in the softly spoken words. Unable to say anything she just nodded and kept looking at her folded hands in her lap. He was right. It wasn't working for them anymore and hadn't been for a long time. She had just come to realise that the last hour or so, while she was sitting on the couch. It had turned out to be another night spent sitting on the couch in silence. Like last night and the night before and pretty much all of last week. Thinking back, she couldn't even remember when they had done anything but sit on the couch, watching TV or a movie not really talking to each other when they were together.

She had been wondering when they had started to drift apart. Was it last week, or maybe last month? Or had it been longer than that? Truth be told, it had been longer than that. If she was really honest with herself she realised that their relationship had slowly started to deteriorate well over 6 months ago. There had been no arguments, no fighting, no cheating, no talking, just silence.

"So what do we do now?" He wanted to know. Penelope looked up, while the tears started to fall down her face.

"I don't know," she answered with a hoarse voice. "I just don't know."

"You know I still love you Penny," he said to her. "It's just… I don't know…" He sight and rubbed his chin.

"It's not the passionate lovers love anymore," Penelope finished his sentence. "The love we used to feel, when we first started dating."

He nodded in agreement. The magic of their passionate love for each other in their first year as a couple had simply vanished to be replaced by a friendly love. Gone were their passionate nights, their romantic candlelight dinners, the poems they used to write to each other, the stolen kisses during working hours, the happy feeling they used to get by simply looking at the other person, the cuddling and all the other things that made their relationship such a fantastic thing to experience. They still loved each other; no doubt about that and that's why Penelope's heart was breaking. To comfort herself she unfolded her hands and wrapped her arms around her waist.

He noticed her sadness and gently touched her arm. "I'm so sorry honey," he whispered while tears started to cloud his vision. He didn't want to end it, but on the other hand, he didn't want to go on like this anymore.

"I know. I'm sorry too," she managed to say. "I don't want to loose you, but I don't like living the way we have done for the past 6 months."

"Neither do I," he agreed. "Neither do I." There was a moment of complete silence. He cleared his throat and continued: "So that still leaves us with the question what are we going to do now? Seeing that this is your apartment I think it's for the best that I leave tonight."

It took Penelope a couple of seconds to realise what he was saying. He wanted to leave; he wanted to leave her tonight. She felt like her heart was breaking into a million pieces, but somehow, she was also aware that there was no other way to end this. They simply couldn't continue this way and he was right; this was her apartment after all. But it had been their home for the last year or so. Not that they officially lived together, but he was there all the time, when she wasn't working on a case with the team. Together they had made it their home, a home with place for both their belongings. Her Super 8 camera, his c.d.-collection, her colourful collection of fuzzy pencils, his books… it made her apartment their home, and after tonight it would be her apartment again and that hurt.

'Be strong now Garcia,' she told herself. 'It's as hard for him as it is for you.' She took a deep breath and stood up from the couch, while wiping the tears from her cheeks. Pulling up all her inner strength she asked him if she could help him pack his belongings. Together they packed most of it and made arrangements for the bigger things to be moved to his old apartment.

After checking to see if he had everything it was time to say goodbye. It was a very awkward moment. Neither knew what to say. Penelope was hanging on to her last bit of strength and tried not to break down completely before his eyes.

"Well I guess this is it then," he said as he picked up his last bag. "Penny, I… I…" he stuttered. Without saying a word, Penelope wrapped her arms around him for the last time and hugged him tightly.

"I love you," was all she was able to say.

"I love you to baby," he hugged her back. "If there's anything you need, anything at all, please give me a call. Even though we're not meant to be together as a couple I still love you." With those final words he let her go and walked out the door, closing it gently behind him.

When she heard the soft click of the front door being closed, Penelope finally caved. Sobbing she slid down the wall. When she hit the ground, she tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them for comfort. But it didn't make her feel any better. Her world had come crumbling down tonight and she felt like she would never feel better again. Her hand reached for her phone. She really needed to speak to her best friend, she didn't want to be alone, not tonight. Without looking she pressed speed dial. She was still crying as she waited for the phone to ring.

"How's my Baby Girl doing?" She heard a deep familiar voice ask. She was immensely relieved that he answered his phone and started to cry even harder.

"Penelope, baby what's wrong?" He sounded worried.

"Derek, could you come over here. I really need you." Penelope managed to say between sobs.


	2. Anytime you need a friend

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, alerts and favourite stories I've gotten for the last chapter. I hope you continue to like this chapter as well. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM, they belong to CBS. **

**Chapter 2: Anytime you need a friend**

Derek Morgan, one of the FBI's hottest agents, well according to the women working at Quantico anyway, was enjoying a very relaxing evening. It was his first night off in weeks and he had taken his time to go to the gym. The workout had been nice and long and after a much-needed shower, he had taken Clooney for a walk and run through the park. When he got home Derek realised that, instead of going out with his buddies and drink and dance all night, all he wanted to do was sit on the couch and relax just a little bit, maybe catch up with the world of sports for a change. He turned on some music, took a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch. Sighing he closed his eyes and let his head rest, thoroughly enjoying the silence and comfort of his own home, while absentmindedly petting Clooney, who had taken place next to him on the couch and was resting his head on his thigh. This was going to be a very, very nice evening. No cases, no running around chasing Unsubs, just some music, the sports section of his newspaper and a cold beer.

Derek groaned when he heard his phone ring. He loved his job, but he really didn't want to go to work tonight. He checked the caller-ID and his mood lightened instantly the moment he saw who was calling him.

"How's my Baby Girl doing?" He asked with a bright smile on his face. It was always good to talk to his best friend. He loved the way they flirted with each other and their light-hearted banter never failed to bring a smile to his face. But not tonight; instead of a witty comment about the fact that he wasn't out dancing and having a drink with his friends, he heard her cry. His protective mode sprang into place right away and he sat up straight.

"Penelope, baby what's wrong?" He couldn't help that he sounded worried. Being in a job like his, his imagination came up with a thousand different scenarios, all picturing horrible reasons as to why Penelope was crying.

"Derek, could you come over here. I really need you." He heard Penelope say between sobs.

"I'm on my way." Derek was already on his way to the door. He quickly picked up his key and his jacket and ran to his SUV.

"Princess, please tell me what's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?" He shot one question after another at her. The adrenaline had kicked in and in no time he was driving to her apartment. Even though she was hurting really bad Penelope could hear the anguish in his voice. She took a deep breath to gain some control over her crying and said: "I'm not h-hurt. Kev- Kevin and I… we broke up."

Relief washed over Derek, when he heard that his Baby Girl wasn't hurt, well not physically anyway. He knew that mentally she was a mess and that she probably needed him, now more than ever. His heart ached when he heard her cry, but somehow he also felt good. As far as Derek was concerned Kevin Lynch had never been good enough for his princess. She needed someone who could take good care of her and treat her like a princess and in his eyes Kevin had never done that. Reasonably speaking Kevin had always treated her right, but Derek knew that Penelope deserved so much more. She deserved someone who would love her unconditionally for the rest of her life, who would sweep her off her feet every single day, someone she could talk to and who would listen to what she was saying. She needed someone… someone… well she needed someone like him!

And suddenly Derek realised that he was in love with his best friend and had been for so many years. It shook him to the core, but he had no time to process, because Penelope needed him, so his feelings had to be stowed away, until later… much much later that is.

"Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear that. I'm on my way. Just a couple more minutes," he said and he drove to her apartment as fast as he could, all the while talking to her on the phone. Derek didn't bother to properly park his car, but got out of it as quickly as possible and ran up the stairs. Luckily he still had his own key to her apartment, so when he reached her front door, he opened it to find Penelope sitting on the floor, knees tucked to her chest, phone in her hand, still crying. Derek did the only thing he could do. He sat down in front of her and wrapped his arms around her.

When Penelope felt Derek's familiar arms around her, she let go of her phone and buried her face in his chest. It felt so good to have him around, hugging her and talking to her soothingly. It took some time, but finally the flow of tears was slowly coming to an end. This was Derek's cue to take Penelope in his arms en carry her into her living room. He sat her down on her couch and took a seat right next to her, with his arm wrapped around her firmly.

"Thank you so much for coming Derek," were the first words Penelope said to him, since he walked into her apartment.

"You're ever so welcome princess. So, do you want to tell me what happened?" Derek gently asked. Penelope nodded and started to talk about how her relationship with Kevin had gone from fantastic to almost non-existing. She talked about all those evenings spent in silence, about her loneliness and her loss of a dream to be with a man she could love for the rest of her life and he would love her right back and about breaking-up with Kevin tonight. In the end she was almost in tears again, but fought them off. It hurt Derek to see his girl in this state, but he was proud of her strength.

"And you know what hurt the most?" Penelope finished her story. "The fact that I have totally neglected you and my family, but you most of all. I feel so bad for letting our friendship slip away and still you are here when I need you the most." And tears started to fill her eyes again.

"Oh Penelope, don't say that. You will always be my Baby Girl and I will always love you, you know that right? Come here Baby Girl." And Derek hugged her fiercely and kissed her on her forehead. A small smile appeared on Penelope's face as she heard the sincerely spoken words.

"I love you too sweet cheeks," she said, feeling better for the first time tonight. "You're the best friend anyone could ever wish for." With those words she hugged Derek back, not noticing the slightly hurt expression that was visible in Derek's eyes.

When they let go of each other Penelope suddenly realised that it was way past midnight. She felt exhausted from al the crying and talking and longed to go to bed. Of course Derek, being one of the best profilers of the country, noticed immediately.

"Time to go to bed and get some beauty sleep," he said as he stood up from his comfortable position on the couch. He then gave Penelope a hand and helped her stand up. She gave him another hug and whispered: "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you tonight."

"Go and get some sleep." Derek pushed her softly towards her bedroom. "Oh and Penelope… if there's anything you need tonight, anything at all, just call me. I will be right here sleeping on the couch and no… no arguments about that now. " Derek said with a determined sound in his voice as he noticed that she was about to object. Penelope closed her mouth and decided that she felt better knowing that Derek was only a call away.

"Goodnight princess."

"Goodnight Hot Stuff." And with these words Penelope disappeared into her bedroom.


	3. I'll be there for you

**A/N Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten. I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but RL got in the way. I hope you like this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own CM, they belong to CBS. **

**Chapter 3: I'll be there**

Derek was lying on the couch contemplating. His head was spinning a little from this evening's events. He was very glad that Penelope was sound asleep in het bedroom; he had checked that a couple of minutes ago. She was tucked snuggly under the comforter, making soft snoring noises. It surprised Derek a little that he didn't find that sound annoying, on the contrary he thought it sounded kinda cute and it kept him standing at the beaded curtain staring at his Baby Girl for a couple of minutes, before returning to the couch. With a sigh he got under the blanket and tried to find the most comfortable spot for him to fall asleep. Unfortunately his mind had other plans; it kept playing back everything that had happened tonight and it kept insisting that Derek should think about the thing Derek really didn't want to think about right now. But it was no use, so Derek gave up and started to think about his feelings for Penelope. There was no denying the fact that she was his best friend, his angel and his God given solace and had been that for the past six years. He loved her, no doubt about that either, but was he really in love… and I mean IN LOVE with his princess?

Thinking back on all those years of friendship, their flirty phone calls, the long nights talking to each other in the comfort of his house or her apartment, her ability to make him smile even when a case was threatening to get to him, his devastation when he found out she had been shot by Battle, his… well what to call it… his jealousy when he found out that Lynch was dating his Baby Girl, the way he feels when he sees her and how his heart always seems to beat a little bit faster when he speaks to her, when all those things were put together there was no denying it anymore: he was deeply in love with Penelope Garcia.

So what was he supposed to do now? As he had never been in love with somebody his whole life, granted he was a player and had experienced numerous short-lived flings with the opposite sex, he was quite clueless as to what his next step should be. Should he start dating her? Or should he just tell her how he felt? But then he realised, right now there was only one thing to do. He needed to put his feelings for Penelope aside and continue to be her best friend instead of her lover, like he really wanted to be, because she needed her best friend… she needed him. When Derek realised this, he finally was able to relax and slowly he drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later he woke again with a start. It took him two seconds to realise where he was and another two seconds to identify the reason why he woke up in the middle of the night to begin with. Quickly he got up from the couch and went into Penelope's bedroom. Apparently she was having some sort of nightmare, because she was whimpering just a bit. Derek didn't want to wake her, so he did the next best thing. He slid under the comforter, wrapped his arm around her and snuggled close to her. Penelope's stiffened a bit, but when she felt the strong and protective arms around her, she relaxed and fell into a deep sleep.

The following morning Penelope reluctantly woke up feeling all warm and cosy. She hadn't felt that good in quite some time and really didn't want to wake up just now. She liked the way she was snuggled up to this nice source of comfort and warmth and she liked the way she was held protectively by some strong and reassuring arms. Slowly though the memories of what happened last night crept into her mind; her break-up with Kevin and how Derek had come over when she needed him the most. He had been such a good friend last night; listening to her rambling, holding here when she was crying, reassuring her when she felt she would never find a man who would love her and spending the night at the couch, because he thought she needed his protection. Penelope vaguely remembered the bad dream she had and how the same strong arms that held her now, had held her then and made her feel loved and protected.

"Good morning princess," Derek suddenly said, his voice sounding husky with sleep. "How are you feeling today?"

"Good morning, my chocolate God. I'm feeling fine, thank you." Penelope answered his question without hesitation. She actually did feel fine. Sure she was still heartbroken, but she felt so much better than last night. "And I have you to thank for," she continued. "You'll never know how thankful I am for having you here last night Derek. I don't know how I would have dealt with last night if you hadn't been there. You really are the best friend a girl could ever ask for." And with those words she kissed him on the cheek, missing the look of pain that crossed his face. It took Derek a couple of seconds to regain himself and then he gave Penelope a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"You really don't have to thank me, silly girl," he said. "You know whenever you need me I'll be there." This brought tears to Penelope's eyes, but she was determined not to cry again. She had shed enough tears last night to last a lifetime.

At that same moment Derek's stomach gave a loud growl, causing Penelope to start giggling.

"Hungry, Hot Stuff?" she managed to say, before she started to laugh again.

"Starving," Derek answered with a wide grin.

"Come on, let's get you fed." And with those words Penelope untangled herself from his arms and went to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

After they had eaten a hearty breakfast, Derek convinced Penelope that they needed to spent the day together and they ended up going over to Derek's house to get Clooney and take him for al long walk in the park. They talked about anything and anyone for what seemed like hours. They laughed and Penelope cried some more. They played with Clooney and Derek bought them an ice cream before they decided it was time to go home. Slowly they walked back to where Derek's car was parked. Derek had his arm protectively around Penelope's shoulders and Penelope thought about how much she had missed this. Hanging out with her best friend, talking, laughing and having fun. She sighed and that got Derek's attention.

"What's up, Baby Girl," he asked as he stopped walking.

"Oh I was just thinking," Penelope answered. "I can't believe how much I've missed this. Us hanging out together like this. Thank you my love for being there for me, even though I haven't been the best of friends lately. You really and truly are an angel D. I love you and I am so glad you are my best friend." And then she hugged him.

"I love you to Princess." Derek hugged her back, but couldn't help to think: 'If only you knew how much I love you.'


End file.
